So you have just given birth to the love of your life. You've had a beautiful and healthy baby. You are on your way home from the hospital after a long labor that ended in a cesarean, but that doesn't matter because your little girl is so healthy and perfect in every way. You arrive home and the family dog greets you accordingly, but you ask yourself, what happens next? Do we change her? Do we feed her? WHAT DO WE DO? This can all be so overwhelming. Relax.
You have just come home and you are racking your brain on what to do next. Take your baby and go lay down. Ask that family and friends give you some time to settle in before coming over, because having company over can be overwhelming to both you and your infant. You are going to need to have as much rest and support as possible to stave off PPD or Post Partum Depression. According to WebMD, women who have cesareans may be more likely to develop PPD due to a lack of oxytocin release during childbirth. That does not mean that you will develop PPD, but it does mean that you will not want to pose more of a risk by becoming physically exhausted or mentally stressed.
When it comes to feedings, I'm sure you have heard that "breast is best," and that is true. Although, statistics show that mothers of cesareans may have a harder time breastfeeding. This is due to exhaustion from major surgery as well as the pain medication that is prescribed to you. It may also be difficult for baby because the pain medication can be excreted through breast milk, making your baby more sleepy than usual. This is no reason to give up, I did it, and so can you. Lay your baby next to you, latch your baby onto the nipple by waiting until baby's mouth is open wide, then insert your nipple into the baby's mouth so that most of your areola is in the baby's mouth. (Call the Lactation Consultant at your local hospital if you need assistance) Once your baby has a good latch, feel free to fall back to sleep. You don't need to stay awake to unlatch your baby when he/she is done, your baby will do that on its own.
After a few days, you may grow tired of fully waking yourself to get baby out of the crib when she wakes up to eat, and the best advice I can give is to sleep with your baby; in other words, co-sleep. As long as you aren't under the influence of any drugs or alcohol (even your pain medication), co-sleeping can be a great option. Breastfeeding women will instinctively form a cradle by bringing their knees up to form a C around their baby. If you co-sleep, all you have to do is wake for a few moments to latch your baby on, then go back to sleep. And always, if you don't feel comfortable co-sleeping, keep in mind that stores do carry "co-sleeper" beds that’s attach to yours. It's like having your baby sleep with you without actually sleeping in your bed and this is always a safer alternative.
Now changing your baby is something that I'm sure we all dread. But with diaper changes, whether you are using cloth or disposable diapers, you should still make sure to change your baby every two to three hours, even if they don't feel wet. If you let your baby sit any longer than three hours, you run the risk of your baby developing a diaper rash. "But what if I'm sleeping, do I need to set an alarm?" No. This can be a great job for dad! Just because you are breastfeeding doesn't mean he can't participate somehow right? He may not like changing diapers, but he won't like a cranky and tired mom even more. Changing a diaper is easy, just make sure you have your diaper and wipes handy. I will advise that while you are switching diapers, to keep your babies bum covered with a wipe, otherwise you might get a nasty surprise. Girls are fairly easy, but boys can be a little more complicated. If your boy has been circumcised, follow the instructions that your pediatrician gave you. But if you have chosen not to circumcise, this is the best saying to remember, "If intact DON'T retract, ONLY clean what is seen," I think that is pretty self explanatory.
Now let’s focus on Mom for a second. You did just have major surgery, and there are a few things you need to keep in mind. DO NOT pick up anything heavier than your baby. The last thing you want is to be rushed back to the hospital for a torn cesarean or uterine hemorrhage. Your c-section will not fully heal right away and it can take anywhere from 6-12 months to heal even though it looks healed on the outside. Your incision is still only held together by stitches on the inside. So let your partner or a family member do the household cleaning and cooking. Let everyone know ahead of time, that your only responsibility right now is to your baby. And a helpful hint, have your partner take care of the baby for awhile so you can take a long, hot, uninterrupted bubble bath. Make sure that you take out time for YOU. Your baby will be just fine for an hour or two while you go to the spa. And moms also need to feel good about themselves. Go buy some cute new clothes, get a pedicure, or touch up those roots. Just because you had a baby does not mean that you can't still do stuff that makes you feel good about yourself.
Just remember that you have had major surgery. On the contrary to the "perfect Hollywood mom," you are not expected to be wonder woman and clean, sleep, take care of the baby, and hold down the house all on your own. In fact, your doctor will even advise against doing any work at all. He will instruct you to just worry about taking care of your baby and getting a lot of rest so that you can heal. Don't make it any more complicated than it needs to be, just focus on you and your new baby and if it gets overwhelming, ask your partner or a support person to help you out so you can get more rest. Newborns really aren't as complicated as some people make them out to be. They have basic needs, eat, sleep, have their diaper changed, and be held. If your baby isn't crying, leave them alone. You don’t need to constantly be trying to figure out if your baby needs something, they will let you know. Just relax.
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